Our coaching relationship didn’t work out well though. After some time I just felt like she was pushing me to do things I felt uncomfortable with and became very stubbornly stuck and unwilling to take even a tiny step forward.
What happened I asked myself? Was what we were working on not my genuine wish, was I just lazy, was I incapable of reaching my goals. I was feeling very discouraged – up to the point where whenever she asks me when do I want to speak with her next I would automatically say to myself: “She is going to ask me again if I did my homework, but I don’t want to do it, and if I tell her that – there will be nothing to talk about”.
It took me a while to find out that actually our relationship was out of balance.
I am sure that this lady meant it well when she was instructing me what to do but in this way she was taking the responsibility for my actions literally putting the carriage in front of the horse. The coach’s role I learned afterwards is to guide the client into thinking out of the box and into creating the solutions he/she is looking for. That means that the coach by default is following and supporting the client on the client’s agenda and not the other way round.
If the coach follows his/ her personal agenda about the client and not the client’s there is a risk of imbalance which can further result in temporary delay or permanent paralyze the goal / achievement / dream that the client is striving towards. And I experienced that! Something I am so good at right now for some months went to a dangerous halt.
What happens is that when your coach starts to be accountable for your actions you start to ask him/her to do the work for you, consciously or not. Walking down that road you start to disown your dreams, you get lost because the path you follow is a borrowed one – somebody else’s picture of the future and not yours. And in the end you will also not recognize as your own the actions towards those dreams and sooner or later your goals and dreams will turn into dreadful do-to lists that never get done.
The bottom line is, if you let anybody – your coach, your spouse, you parents, your friends, your enemies to drive you around to where YOU want to go, more often than not you will arrive where the driver drives you to!
Go into Action! © 2008 Tsvetanka Petrova. All Rights Reserved.
About the Author
Tsvetanka (Sue) Petrova, the Life and Money Coach, is a successful young, fabulous and rich entrepreneur and coach who helps executives and self-employed professionals to effortlessly strengthen their talents and attract more revenue. She has a first-hand experience with overcoming impossible obstacles, surviving through all storms and attaining unimaginable financial and personal success as a result. Sue’s blog and web site are a valuable resource with free articles and success tools. You can visit them at tsvetankapetrova.wordpress.com and www.aheartsdesires.com
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