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Posts tagged ‘blame game’

How to recognize the victim mentality in 10 easy steps?

how to recognize victim mentality in 10 stepsThe huge difference between being a victim and having the victim mentality is in the word habit. As children the victim archetype as developed by Carl Jung plays a protective role – we are not to talk back to elders and / or show that we are powerful because we are not. Growing up most of us realize that the care provided by others in our childhood is not to last forever and we are to take charge of our own lives. However, some adults make a different resolution. Whether victimizing situations always seem to “find them” or they look to involve themselves in such some people walk through life as professionals in the game of “I am victim and you need to help me”. How do we recognize them?

1. Mercy – always everybody else is taking advantage of them, they are at the mercy of outside forces and it is never ever their fault.

2. Envy – they are very envious of others who get what they want in life but they will tell you the opposite – everyone is envious of them

3. Power – they will address to power in every possible way. For them power is the skirts of the mother behind which they can hide because they don’t have one themselves but because the mother (or somebody else they know / organization they can rely on) has it – they claim it as theirs

4. Blame – whatever happens in life it’s because of somebody else. They never take the responsibility of their part in the drama

5. Self-pity – they feel so sorry for themselves that with their constant complaining they make sure that you feel as equally sorry

6. Helplessness – if they don’t get what they want or the situations don’t turn out their way – they are able to let the world know that life does not treat them fairly and they deserve to be compensated for that

7. Reliance – totally and willingly dependent on others – family, organizations, etc.

8. Disconnection – they can easily shut off their true feelings in order to continue playing the game

9. Action – the actions that the victim to be are in the range of – making others feel guilty so that they can continue helping you, complaining, talking behind other people’s back etc. but never a real action towards solving the problem

10. Solution – since they are not responsible for what is happening, they are dependent of all possible factors and people, the solution to their problems should come from somebody else.

About the Author

Tsvetanka Petrova – Sue, the Good Karma Coach, specializes in choosing who you want to BE and being in alignment with this feeling and knowledge so that you can attract easily and effortlessly your desires along your path that correspond with who you are.


She has a first-hand experience with overcoming impossible obstacles, surviving through all storms and attaining unimaginable financial and personal success for her age as a result.

Tsvetanka’s web site: www.aheartsdesires.com and blog: www.tsvetankapetrova.wordpress.com is a valuable resource with lots of free articles and success tools.

Author’s note: Please feel free to use this article for your own web site or newsletter. However, the About the Author information and the copyright line need to be present in your reprint of this article. Also note, that this article is not to be altered or published incomplete and a copy of your reprint is sent to Sue@aheartsdesires.com

Blaming you-Blaming me

The story:

Lately I had the opportunity to listen to both sides of the story about one of the executives leaving the company. According to the executive in question the place was like no other – disorganized, micro managed and not allowing him to use his full potential. Which is true. The company in question is not the best place to work if you expect to have your assistant to prepare everything for you so that you only sign your name on the documents. And none of the reasons for which he was not warmly welcomed were his fault. Not the coffee and smoke breaks, nor the constant phone calls to friends and family, the gossiping about everybody behind their back and last but not least – the genuine interest in the Celebrity gossip sites during work hours were his fault. It was all because the company was not to his standards.

On the other hand – the company was concerned with the revenue which this executive was hired to bring but for many visible reasons he was distracting himself from the main reason he was in the company.

In the end things of course didn’t work out. But where is the truth?

The moral of the story:

If you are an executive that means you have the potential, you have the experience and are headed towards the success of the company you work for. That means that:

  1. You give your 100% – from the time you clock in to the time you clock out and to the time you call asleep – you work for the company – every minute – every second. You do your best and you show it.
  2. You have impeccable office behavior – Bad manners backfire and in the end make your life harder.
  3. You are responsible and personally accountable for your actions and inactions – Blaming your company for your unwillingness to be invested in your work is never a good way to stand out as an effective executive
  4. Disrespecting the hand that signs your check is never a good approach – By gossiping how everybody else is incompetent you definitely send the message to your boss that your boss is incapable of hiring good employees. And when this reaches your boss’s ears – guess who is up for a discussion…
  5. You welcome challenges and learn from mistakes – If every body else is to be blamed for what “happens” to you are likely repeat the same exact scenarios again and again

Blaming You – Blaming Me © 2008 Tsvetanka Petrova. All Rights Reserved

About the Author

Tsvetanka Petrova – Sue, the Good Karma Coach, specializes in choosing who you want to BE and being in alignment with this feeling and knowledge so that you can attract easily and effortlessly your desires along your path that correspond with who you are.


She has a first-hand experience with overcoming impossible obstacles, surviving through all storms and attaining unimaginable financial and personal success for her age as a result.

Tsvetanka’s web site: www.aheartsdesires.com and blog: www.tsvetankapetrova.wordpress.com are a valuable resource with lots of free articles and success tools.

Author’s note: Please feel free to use this article for your own web site or newsletter. However, the About the Author information and the copyright line need to be present in your reprint of this article. Also note, that this article is not to be altered or published incomplete and a copy of your reprint is sent to Sue@aheartsdesires.com

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