Guiding you to set up your business for success by overcoming emotional and behavioral roadblocks

Posts tagged ‘self-care’

5 Setbacks that Stop You BIG Time

consciousnessHave you ever felt that you want to succeed but whatever you do there seems to be all kinds of things that are stopping you? While it is true that life happens, it’s how we respond to it that makes a difference. What usually happens is that we get accustomed to how we perceive the reality and unnoticed we react to it, again in a habitual way. Here are the 5 most common automatic reactions I see around me and how they influence your life.

1. Poverty mindset – If you consistently prime yourself with “I don’t have money”, “there is never enough”, then you set yourself up for a self-fulfilling prophecy. This doesn’t mean thatlying to yourself that you have money if you don’t will work. What it means is that as soon as you focus on “I don’t have ” and “I can’t afford”, you miss the opportunity to mobilize yourself to look for a solution instead of dwelling on the problem.

2. Powerless Attitude – You know you feel powerless when you just don’t seem to go anywhere from where you are. You will notice that you see no direction you can take and no solution by the way you look at things. Every time when you find excuses and  complain you delude yourself that you do something about the situation you are in while in fact you don’t really take any action that will bring a positive change.

3. Doubt dwelling – If you don’t believe in yourself, in what you do, that things will go in a better direction (with your active help) then  nobody else will and even if they will, your disbelief will soon discourage them. Going down a negative spiral is trapping you into inaction more than anything else. And the worst part about it is that it had the ability to signal others to stay away from clouds of gloom and doom.

4. Resistance to change – Life would be a Heaven on Earth if only everything was perfect and unchanging but that movie is not played in the cinema of real life. So,  you either go with the change, meet with your fear, go out of your comfort zone, or you resist it and stay the same and sooner or later start regreting that you do not live the life you wish you could.

5. Avoiding the NOW –  Most often, when you don’t make amends with your past (appreciate it for happening whether bringing you good or bad experience) you drive the car of your life into a forward direction looking back. Do you think you really are going far without looking at the road and the direction? Others, live in the perfect future trying to imagine it into being. And, that’s all good as long as you don’t expect to have your Olimpic medal to arrive by the mail while you do nothing to get tit in the mean time. Living in a dream for the future is like trying to catch the air around you. The past moment is already gone. The future moment is not there yet. What you have is the present moment and this is where you can determine what the future would be like for you and how you perceive the past.

Setbacks are like blind spots – different coping strategies which once upon a time we started using in order to deal with what comes our way. Maybe at that time these strategies were helping us and maybe they are still helping us in a way. There is a pay-off, something we protect ourselves from.  But, does this  align with who we are or want to be now. Once we become aware what we do and what is the protective reason to do it, we c an decide differently. We can decide to take the leading role in our life and not allow old habits to rule our life!

Tsvetanka Petrova, CPC
The Start-up Set up  Coach

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How to recognize the victim mentality in 10 easy steps?

how to recognize victim mentality in 10 stepsThe huge difference between being a victim and having the victim mentality is in the word habit. As children the victim archetype as developed by Carl Jung plays a protective role – we are not to talk back to elders and / or show that we are powerful because we are not. Growing up most of us realize that the care provided by others in our childhood is not to last forever and we are to take charge of our own lives. However, some adults make a different resolution. Whether victimizing situations always seem to “find them” or they look to involve themselves in such some people walk through life as professionals in the game of “I am victim and you need to help me”. How do we recognize them?

1. Mercy – always everybody else is taking advantage of them, they are at the mercy of outside forces and it is never ever their fault.

2. Envy – they are very envious of others who get what they want in life but they will tell you the opposite – everyone is envious of them

3. Power – they will address to power in every possible way. For them power is the skirts of the mother behind which they can hide because they don’t have one themselves but because the mother (or somebody else they know / organization they can rely on) has it – they claim it as theirs

4. Blame – whatever happens in life it’s because of somebody else. They never take the responsibility of their part in the drama

5. Self-pity – they feel so sorry for themselves that with their constant complaining they make sure that you feel as equally sorry

6. Helplessness – if they don’t get what they want or the situations don’t turn out their way – they are able to let the world know that life does not treat them fairly and they deserve to be compensated for that

7. Reliance – totally and willingly dependent on others – family, organizations, etc.

8. Disconnection – they can easily shut off their true feelings in order to continue playing the game

9. Action – the actions that the victim to be are in the range of – making others feel guilty so that they can continue helping you, complaining, talking behind other people’s back etc. but never a real action towards solving the problem

10. Solution – since they are not responsible for what is happening, they are dependent of all possible factors and people, the solution to their problems should come from somebody else.

About the Author

Tsvetanka Petrova – Sue, the Good Karma Coach, specializes in choosing who you want to BE and being in alignment with this feeling and knowledge so that you can attract easily and effortlessly your desires along your path that correspond with who you are.


She has a first-hand experience with overcoming impossible obstacles, surviving through all storms and attaining unimaginable financial and personal success for her age as a result.

Tsvetanka’s web site: www.aheartsdesires.com and blog: www.tsvetankapetrova.wordpress.com is a valuable resource with lots of free articles and success tools.

Author’s note: Please feel free to use this article for your own web site or newsletter. However, the About the Author information and the copyright line need to be present in your reprint of this article. Also note, that this article is not to be altered or published incomplete and a copy of your reprint is sent to Sue@aheartsdesires.com

Do you pat yourself on the back?

One of the key secrets to success is not to tackle what you do well and how you can do it better but what you do when you get off the board and you get swirled into the waves. Fall down seven times, get up eight, says the Japanese proverb.

So, what do we do to get into where we want to be even though we may not be there yet? Many things can be done here but my personal favorite is to celebrate. I prefer this way to advance in whatever direction you would like to take because it’s always YOU to choose how to celebrate and whatever you choose your choice is nothing else but fabulous. Everyone would agree that the feeling when you are just having fun because you do what you like to and which is even more – you decided that you will do this – is just indescribably magnificent. And there is a saying regarding the food feelings. They keep us warm in rainy days.

Having the tools to keep yourself pumped up when you want to excel in what you do or when you feel that you are loosing momentum and want to regain empowerment makes all the difference in the world. This is what can keep your business into business and this is what distinguishes the people who go into business venture from those who are successful when going into business ventures.

So, how do you celebrate? Just brainstorm as many ways to enjoy yourself as possible and don’t forget to try them out and have fun doing it.

Whether others congratulate you or not on your wins is completely irrelevant if you do not give yourself a Hi5 too. When you recognize that you’re worth it and that the hill you’ve reached on your way to the top of the mountain is your hill, your accomplishment and you definitely deserve to pat yourself on the back you get yourself on the road to building inner strength which one day or another you will need when the storms come to your garden.

This will be your surviving tool. Once you start to recognize your milestones you can keep track of your progress. Being able to look back and be amazed at how far you have reached is very powerful because in this way you easily stay focused and on track. The danger of not being able to trace back your path of progress is that you may get lost on the way and in the end find yourself in a place where you never intended to be.

There is one more way to have the empowering positive feelings on your side and additionally to get ownership of your success. How about celebrating regularly your success before you even have it? As always it’s never a guarantee that you will get to where you want to be only by celebrating but there is a good chance. And then since you’ve already started celebrating what you already have naturally your thoughts and action will gravitate towards what it is that you want and eventually you will get there. For those who have never tried that approach to get themselves into motion I would like to challenge them to try and compare the feeling as opposed to celebrating after all is said and done.


Do you pat yourself on the back © 2008 Tsvetanka Petrova. All Rights Reserved.

About the Author

Tsvetanka (Sue) Petrova, the Life and Money Coach, is a successful young, fabulous and rich entrepreneur and coach who helps executives and self-employed professionals to effortlessly strengthen their talents and attract more revenue. She has a first-hand experience with overcoming impossible obstacles, surviving through all storms and attaining unimaginable financial and personal success as a result. Sue’s blog and web site are a valuable resource with free articles and success tools. You can visit them at tsvetankapetrova.wordpress.com and www.aheartsdesires.com

Author’s note: Please feel free to use this article for your own web site or newsletter. However, the About the Author information and the copyright line need to be present in your reprint of this article. Also note, that this article is not to be altered or published incomplete and a copy of your reprint is sent to Sue@aheartsdesires.com

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