5 Setbacks that Stop You BIG Time

Have you ever felt that you want to succeed but whatever you do there seems to be all kinds of things that are stopping you? While it is true that life happens, it’s how we respond to it that makes a difference. What usually happens is that we get accustomed to how we perceive the reality and unnoticed we react to it, again in a habitual way. Here are the 5 most common automatic reactions I see around me and how they influence your life.

1. Poverty mindset - If you consistently prime yourself with “I don’t have money”, “there is never enough”, then you set yourself up for a self-fulfilling prophecy. This doesn’t mean thatlying to yourself that you have money if you don’t will work. What it means is that as soon as you focus on “I don’t have ” and “I can’t afford”, you miss the opportunity to mobilize yourself to look for a solution instead of dwelling on the problem.

2. Powerless Attitude - You know you feel powerless when you just don’t seem to go anywhere from where you are. You will notice that you see no direction you can take and no solution by the way you look at things. Every time when you find excuses and  complain you delude yourself that you do something about the situation you are in while in fact you don’t really take any action that will bring a positive change.

3. Doubt dwelling - If you don’t believe in yourself, in what you do, that things will go in a better direction (with your active help) then  nobody else will and even if they will, your disbelief will soon discourage them. Going down a negative spiral is trapping you into inaction more than anything else. And the worst part about it is that it had the ability to signal others to stay away from clouds of gloom and doom.

4. Resistance to change – Life would be a Heaven on Earth if only everything was perfect and unchanging but that movie is not played in the cinema of real life. So,  you either go with the change, meet with your fear, go out of your comfort zone, or you resist it and stay the same and sooner or later start regreting that you do not live the life you wish you could.

5. Avoiding the NOW -  Most often, when you don’t make amends with your past (appreciate it for happening whether bringing you good or bad experience) you drive the car of your life into a forward direction looking back. Do you think you really are going far without looking at the road and the direction? Others, live in the perfect future trying to imagine it into being. And, that’s all good as long as you don’t expect to have your Olimpic medal to arrive by the mail while you do nothing to get tit in the mean time. Living in a dream for the future is like trying to catch the air around you. The past moment is already gone. The future moment is not there yet. What you have is the present moment and this is where you can determine what the future would be like for you and how you perceive the past.

Setbacks are like blind spots – different coping strategies which once upon a time we started using in order to deal with what comes our way. Maybe at that time these strategies were helping us and maybe they are still helping us in a way. There is a pay-off, something we protect ourselves from.  But, does this  align with who we are or want to be now. Once we become aware what we do and what is the protective reason to do it, we c an decide differently. We can decide to take the leading role in our life and not allow old habits to rule our life!

Tsvetanka Petrova, CPC

The Start-up Set up  Coach

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5 EASY Ways to Overcome Your FEAR

Just like everything you get good at, after a while you forget what it was in the beginning. Same happened with me. I absolutely forgot how great of a hobby I had a few years ago. My hobby was to stretch myself, i.e. go out of my comfort zone in every possible way. And let me tell you, it’s a lot of fun overcoming your own fears. Here are a few quick and easy ways to get in the game:

1. Call someone you don’t want to – We all have those crossed out names from our list of contacts, with age old stories and complicated interpersonal relations. When you think of calling then, you can almost experience a panic attack. If you’ve already imagined your horror movie experience, then you know what you should do. Call them! You can even meet with them.

2. Do something you can’t – One thing distinguishes those who succeed and those who don’t. Those who do don’t know the meaning of the word CAN”T. They understand it as “try again” or “watch me doing it” or “there has to be another way”. What a better way to train yourself to be successful. Do something you know you can’t. My own example is – I can’t swim. But, when I was in Bahamas, I snorkeled and I also dived (with a sub). Once in a lifetime experience!

3. Do something you hate – You can’t  like everything you do. There is always something . However, when you tell yourself that you hate doing something, you draw a line and start avoiding this activity at all cost. For example, if you hate waking up early, or doing household chores, you will most probably organize your whole life around keeping your distance from what you don’t like to manifest. The question here is, do you want those activities, or circumstances to have power over you?

4. Learn something new – some of my favorite excuses are – “I don’t need this” and “I don’t have time for that”. Of course you don’t. The chance is , you never will. And whether you need it or not. Is this what is important here? Life is experience. And you can choose to experience life or to have the experiences pass you by. Challenge yourself, learn new things and in the end, all the brain activity will help you have rich memories.   Discovvering new passions your can learn more about 9s great to keep your pasion for life alive.Learning and doing something new are entrenched.  Every month do something new- change your favorite sleeping position, change “your” place on the table,  change the route you take to work, etc.

5. Say yes to opportunities – opportunities knock on our door constantly. But what happens is, when we get too comfortable in having our life being in the way it is right now, we stop paying attention to those opportunities. When someone offers us to use the elevator, we automatically say no – because we always use the stairs. And right there – an opportunity is lost, gone forever. You can’t turn back time. So, what you can do is say yes to every opportunity that comes your way for a week. Say yes, even if you can’t say know but if you could you would. Be ready to  help out others, run chores for them, and be kind and courteous. And when someone smiles at you, be ready to smile back at them

Tsvetanka Petrova, CPC

The Start-up Set up  Coach

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5 Quick Ways to Get Things Your Way

The quickest way to of being the best owner of your business is to be the best owner of your own life. How do you do that? By effectively claiming what’s yours. How?

1. Be clear on what you want - If you don’t know what exactly you want and you fail to communicate it to others in a way that even a first grader gets it, how will others know? Same thing with the things , situations, people you can’t want o spend your time and energy on. Supposing that the others can read your mind is a great strategy but I just haven’t seen it work that much.

2.  Keep an eye on your feelings – People tend to feel same thing in similar situations. Have you noticed that in yourself? What situations anger you; make you happy, excited, at peace?What interactions trigger guilt, blame, remorse, self-pity? Checking up with what your feelings tell you is always a good way to find out for yourself whether you are playing a home game or you are just an actor in a play directed by somebody else.

3. Choose which signs to follow – Keep yourself informed about the other person’s feelings too. they will keep you on track for what is expected from you. Just keep in mind that feeling for somebody else’s needs and wants and wanting to assert your own requirements is just not possible without a compromise from both parties. If the other person cannot or is not willing to have a share in the compromise option – your choice is between following your own best interest and involving yourself in  somebody else’s drama.

4. Be prepared to leave – Letting go and moving on can be a self-preserving act when your needs and wants are not met and there is no sign of willingness to work on that. but it can also be a fleeting strategy which signals you that you do not want to face the situation adn that you prefer to pretend that it does not exist. How can you be sure which way you choose? Ask yourself:  Did you really honestly give your best to work on those wants and needs? If you leave it aal ,is there really a loss?

5.  Be the trusting one – some wants and needs take time. If your business partner is disorganized for example, be patient. It takes time for the seed of change to grow. How will things be different if you trust that things are just the way they need to be each and every day?

Tsvetanka Petrova, Start-up Set up  Coach

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